Carbon Footprints

AAaaaaaallllrrriiiiighhttttt, time. I hear your tip-toes in the garden by the window.
I'm buying my lease out and leaving Friday. The roommate thing was not legitimate after all nor actually working out. Hats off to you, leasing office. No hard feelings, just keep your son away from my credit score. I'll pay you.

I'll throw a video of my mobile home's setup in here when I've cleared out all the moving stuff and am in daylight. If I had died today, I would have gone to the Valhalla for Housemaids. 409 pours from all taps, the tables of glass get cleaner with every fingerprint, and multilingual sentient Shamwow pads with hands, obsessive compulsive disorder, and gusto run among the marble bungalows. Noiseless rubber gloves and scented miracles, gilded aprons, tiramisu. Toilets that wipe themselves. Breakfast in bed. Feet masseuse. Haha, feet masseuse. Say that out loud. Shit, I should have died today.

You might say, we already have ovens that clean themselves! Yes! I pressed that button and now my eyes are of a fire hotter than the little sun showering itself in my kitchen. I can see the carbon in the air. It has weight. I'm so sorry pizza drippings... If I had known what the oven would do to you. I would have eaten you with a paint scraper myself.

My first stop is going to be somewhere between Nashville and St. Louis. Probably a Walmart. I need to get to the national parks (and glorious mother CANADA!) before the snow hits so I'm breezing through the great plains to get there. Dont want to wait - I'll have more worth sitting on a corner in Nashville on my return anyways, though that's not exactly true. I'm going to make people custom songs based on whatever they identify for whatever tip they want to provide. Guess I can realistically do that for a an hour +change and then take a break. I want to know how much I can earn doing that, because I do that in my car all day. Gets me all giddy.

Back to eating eggs with hot sauce, chia seeds and apricots. Actually quite nice. Two different bowls there, though a milkshake of that might be refreshing.

But I want Chick-Fil-A. What do they feed those chickens, nicotine?