I'm back.
It was more than I could have asked for or imagined and plenty more than I could put into words, without leaving myself unsatisfied and the reality unrepresented.
I want to thank everyone I met for being who they were and showing me kindness and hospitality and sharing stories and listening to mine and my music. Or for being a jerk or nothing at all. You were the substance of a life-changing trip for me as much as, if not more than, the earth water and sky that I found. And, me. Thanks me too. And thanks to whatever guides me and almost killed me to illustrate a point that one time and then we laughed it off. You're cool.
What you fill each day with becomes what you fill your life with.
Thoughts, hopes, dreams. Fears, doubts, voids. Actions, products, rest, failures, successes. TV.
Whether you believe you are guided or not, it comes down to you to do it, to have these - or not.
As a friend of mine said, "god will guide your steps.. but you have to take steps."
Up, down, left or right
Wherever you go you do
Far, near, dark or bright
All roads start with you.
Bye.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Zest!
A list of some of your potential emotional states in each moment
They follow strongly your thoughts
It is now'o'clock
Do you know where your thoughts are?
[Even in the realm of thought do objects in motion remain in motion at the same speed and direction until acted upon by an outside force]
(it could be you)
(But if it isn't, it is surely anything else)
Nice subjective reality where did you get it
click
Friday, December 5, 2014
Death Valley
I live.
Where did I leave off I think I was in San Francisco or something. I left there and drove to Los Angeles and was there for a handful of days.
Wait before I go further Imgur, I realize, no longer allows my pictures to be visible now that I've surpassed 225. I actually surpassed 225 about a month ago so there's a hundred invisibles, anyways, I'm not uploading any more pictures because it'll cost me 25 bucks per year. Don't care. Sorry about that, but i'll carry around my backup and show you the pictures as I make my rounds throughout the south and show off when I return.
Also i'm on my way back. I expect to be home in 2-3 weeks. This coincides with Christmas but I'm not coming home because I want presents - I just wanted to say that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNWdfo12Mio
Its just music I didn't make it but it makes me want to make music
Los Angeles is huge. I saw the sign, the Griffith observatory was way cooler, didn't see or smell any famous people, did a four hour ghost tour on the Queen Mary, spent Thanksgiving on Venice Beach, chilled on Rincon beach for an earlier afternoon, saw the tar pits, drove past the Scientology building (uhhhhhhhhhhh), got a sweet haircut in a record store, saw the sunset on Sunset Boulevard, I think there was something else, I forget. Oh I saw a transvestite. That was fresh.
Then I drove to Joshua Tree national park.
Then I drove to Death Valley.
A lot happened but I don't have pictures to show right now and everything I could write about those parks would be a lot of 'whoa' and 'wow' and I can't make you feel the land the way the land is to someone who walks it openly and graciously.
It seems to me the harder you grip the wheel and try to get where you're trying to go the less you get out of your trip at all. You don't actually know where you need to go to arrive at the destination you aim for, having accumulated what you need to actually -be- there properly when you finally get there. And then what? What's next?
We just drive really fast trying to get there as though, once we get there, everything will be better. It probably won't.. why would it, you drive the same roads you always have, as fast as you got used to, you stop paying attention to the scenery and the blur becomes the familiar roads, along these familiar roads you take the same turns, the same mistakes, the same mistakes take you to the same comfortable places, you never step out and feel fear, real fear, or doubt, or humility, or shame, or life, to find out what it means and what it does and then chance to take higher action to take you to higher places for yourself.
Moral: I stopped trying to be somewhere else and where I was became the road that took me there.
Go boldly into your unknowns and know that they can help you where you could not help yourself, if you are willing to learn...
Or sail the same waters, catch the same fish.
Farewell, fellow fishermen
Where did I leave off I think I was in San Francisco or something. I left there and drove to Los Angeles and was there for a handful of days.
Wait before I go further Imgur, I realize, no longer allows my pictures to be visible now that I've surpassed 225. I actually surpassed 225 about a month ago so there's a hundred invisibles, anyways, I'm not uploading any more pictures because it'll cost me 25 bucks per year. Don't care. Sorry about that, but i'll carry around my backup and show you the pictures as I make my rounds throughout the south and show off when I return.
Also i'm on my way back. I expect to be home in 2-3 weeks. This coincides with Christmas but I'm not coming home because I want presents - I just wanted to say that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNWdfo12Mio
Its just music I didn't make it but it makes me want to make music
Los Angeles is huge. I saw the sign, the Griffith observatory was way cooler, didn't see or smell any famous people, did a four hour ghost tour on the Queen Mary, spent Thanksgiving on Venice Beach, chilled on Rincon beach for an earlier afternoon, saw the tar pits, drove past the Scientology building (uhhhhhhhhhhh), got a sweet haircut in a record store, saw the sunset on Sunset Boulevard, I think there was something else, I forget. Oh I saw a transvestite. That was fresh.
Then I drove to Joshua Tree national park.
Then I drove to Death Valley.
A lot happened but I don't have pictures to show right now and everything I could write about those parks would be a lot of 'whoa' and 'wow' and I can't make you feel the land the way the land is to someone who walks it openly and graciously.
It seems to me the harder you grip the wheel and try to get where you're trying to go the less you get out of your trip at all. You don't actually know where you need to go to arrive at the destination you aim for, having accumulated what you need to actually -be- there properly when you finally get there. And then what? What's next?
We just drive really fast trying to get there as though, once we get there, everything will be better. It probably won't.. why would it, you drive the same roads you always have, as fast as you got used to, you stop paying attention to the scenery and the blur becomes the familiar roads, along these familiar roads you take the same turns, the same mistakes, the same mistakes take you to the same comfortable places, you never step out and feel fear, real fear, or doubt, or humility, or shame, or life, to find out what it means and what it does and then chance to take higher action to take you to higher places for yourself.
Moral: I stopped trying to be somewhere else and where I was became the road that took me there.
Go boldly into your unknowns and know that they can help you where you could not help yourself, if you are willing to learn...
Or sail the same waters, catch the same fish.
Farewell, fellow fishermen
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
Here.
Pictures
I'm in Crescent City now. I have moved from my favorite state so far, Oregon, and I'm truly better to have met every single one of you that now watch this blog from that state. You just rain too much so I won't be back. Not soon anyways.
California!
Water still runs from all taps. That was a surprise. I don't know what I expected. Tinctures?
I'm going to go write a song in the redwoods. Standing among them makes you realize you are squishy.
I looked up at some yesterday and said "Hey - you're going to outlive me." And then laughed and laughed. I stuck around until dark (5:30pm) and then took a slow night drive through the forest. Made some music that felt like it was suitable for the ground below me.
Time to start phase 2:
Songalong.
Ask me about my Songalong.
No Guarantees.
Onward.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Uno
Here is a song that will be part of the album
I'll post the others soon now
Because love songs are only two of the 9 made so far, the others will be different, livelier, with 24% more parmesean sometimes about politics sometimes about roads sometimes without words
I'll post the others soon now
Because love songs are only two of the 9 made so far, the others will be different, livelier, with 24% more parmesean sometimes about politics sometimes about roads sometimes without words
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Maslow's Summit V.2
I updated this to address some additional thoughts I had.
Hello. Still alive. Doing things that fulfill me more deeply than I could have imagined in millennia. I mean that in all seriousness. Details aren't important because you only use those to avoid the reality for a moment and I'm not going to be your fix today.
Here's some of the most incredible music I've ever heard. Listen to what their consciousness created and perfected. It is the collaboration of centuries of rain, sun, loss, birth, war and peace on the cold plains of a different land (Mongolia). It's OK if you don't like it, I just sent it because I thought it was good.
I challenge you to read the rest of my thoughts today with as much patience as you can. Do it if only because I challenged you. You can alternatively stop right now and your brain will not be charged with any meaningful thought in the next few minutes and you won't be forced to spend any energy wondering about tough questions.
'Vicarious' is a positive connotation on 'without any actual life.' You're going to die right. You deserve to actually enjoy what happens before then. 'Life isn't always fair' is for people who don't know how to utilize what they receive. It's an excuse to let bad things be only bad things. Life is fair for the people who work with life and don't give up until it is taken from them. Then you're dead, and you can relax. You weren't promised anything.
Living vicariously. While you look at people doing things that inspire you and go "Wow I wish I was doing that," you're dying and dancing through the illusion of living. "Well at least they are happy so I can be happy for them," Bullshit. Lead yourself. Try it. Use that part of your mind that executes action and tell it: "I'm going to do this so I can become more useful to myself even though it isn't entirely comfortable and I can't be 100% certain its going to work or be appreciated." And do it. And learn from it. And put it towards the rest of your life. (Like me posting this on my blog. I'm fully aware you don't really like reading this sort of thing but I no longer care for what you want because you clearly don't know what you want. If you had an idea, you would understand what I'm saying and you wouldn't be personally offended that I've told you you don't know what you're doing. Maybe I'm wrong. Keep reading.)
Maybe you think nothing calls you. Or you say you just don't have that passion.
RING RING YA HEAR ME???
You're going to die either way. We. All. Die. Its horrible unless you have lived prior to it. Think that over.
We are not meant to stay fragile and safe and scared and everyone else would love you to realize yourself so we can all thrive from the life it breeds. But life isn't fair and you just aren't made for it? You have too many obligations? It is NOT supposed to be easy. Passion and strength is created along the way, by request and effort and persistence. It's not something you have or don't have. Do you have any idea how weak and weightless I was even two years ago? I am recent in substantial ways. Now I live in my CAR. I brush my teeth with old shoelaces. Not true. But I had the conscious realization that if I were to die tonight, I would be at peace. Because I am alive and useful to myself and my purpose, for the first time in my life. In my CAR.
Life is what you make it. You are not helpless..If you were to open yourself to the possibilities, you would be much more likely to figure out what you are looking for if you do not yet know. Have you tried doing thing you've never done before? Maybe its not traditional for your culture so you hesitate. Or your friends would laugh, they who haven't the slightest idea how to be happy either.
They who help themselves are helped...........
They who stop themselves are stopped.
Listen: If you want a good life you must make it happen for yourself starting now. This isn't something a paycheck can do for you even eventually. Paychecks should not be what you spend your life on. They only make beating around your bush easier. And obligations deeper. If you really, REALLY want something, you would be surprised how far you can simplify your life to be able to focus on it... even if you have children, that which seems to be the permanent death of everyone's dreams. I think that you have a responsibility to them absolutely, but I must ask: Are they the end of you? You answer that question every day when you wake up and decide: I'm going to only maintain our state OR I'm going to make today better for every one of us.
It is INCREDIBLE what you can do if you REALLY want something. The sacrifices you make, the willpower you build, the person you become is all worth standing up and trying to be incredible for yourself and those you love, rather than on-par with all the people around you. Stop looking around. You are only limiting yourself.
You know why I write this? Not because I expect that in doing so everyone who reads this is going to go "Ah! He's Right!" and change their lives overnight. I write because literally: Everyone that hears my story goes "You are doing the right thing." Or "I wish I'd done that." or "My dream was to XYZ but we just never got around to it..."
I write because I may be the only source of uncomfortable thoughts that you expose yourself to and maybe, just maybe, I can plant a seed to grow slowly into something you can use to produce your own genuine happiness someday. Not default happiness, like 'Well I've got everything everybody else does now' - but actual fulfillment in your own mind and soul in your own way. I want you to experience a deep life no matter where you are in it. You are never too late, you just don't know the feeling of personal triumph over your fears that tell you: "I'm too late" yet.
You don't have to become a musician or an interplanetary justice superhero. Just do what moves you and intrigues you and keep moving towards that happiness with an open mind (You don't know what you need to get there, otherwise, you would have it already... hmm?) and keep challenging yourself in your own way. Hell I don't know what you need. But you aren't getting it sitting on your ass avoiding each passing day waiting for .... what? Seriously, what are you waiting on? What are your days passing for? Were you successful yesterday, was it useful to you? I hope so.
You only have so many.
I'm not saying that what you have done up until this point is useless or that you aren't making good decisions, or that you aren't on the right track. But maybe its time you started to put your preparation to use. There is no perfect time. You, by doing it, make it the perfect time. Don't wait until you die to start honoring yourself. You are alive today. That's actually plenty to begin.
Maybe you truly don't care. That's fine too. Your life. I just love you and believe this deeply enough so as to address it. Yes, even you who is reading this that somehow I've never met.
Congratulations. That really weird feeling you hopefully have now, halfway between excited and scared?
That's growth...
It is not always glorious.
- Love,
Fellow Mortal
P.S. NO PICTURES FOR YOU today.
Hello. Still alive. Doing things that fulfill me more deeply than I could have imagined in millennia. I mean that in all seriousness. Details aren't important because you only use those to avoid the reality for a moment and I'm not going to be your fix today.
Here's some of the most incredible music I've ever heard. Listen to what their consciousness created and perfected. It is the collaboration of centuries of rain, sun, loss, birth, war and peace on the cold plains of a different land (Mongolia). It's OK if you don't like it, I just sent it because I thought it was good.
I challenge you to read the rest of my thoughts today with as much patience as you can. Do it if only because I challenged you. You can alternatively stop right now and your brain will not be charged with any meaningful thought in the next few minutes and you won't be forced to spend any energy wondering about tough questions.
'Vicarious' is a positive connotation on 'without any actual life.' You're going to die right. You deserve to actually enjoy what happens before then. 'Life isn't always fair' is for people who don't know how to utilize what they receive. It's an excuse to let bad things be only bad things. Life is fair for the people who work with life and don't give up until it is taken from them. Then you're dead, and you can relax. You weren't promised anything.
Living vicariously. While you look at people doing things that inspire you and go "Wow I wish I was doing that," you're dying and dancing through the illusion of living. "Well at least they are happy so I can be happy for them," Bullshit. Lead yourself. Try it. Use that part of your mind that executes action and tell it: "I'm going to do this so I can become more useful to myself even though it isn't entirely comfortable and I can't be 100% certain its going to work or be appreciated." And do it. And learn from it. And put it towards the rest of your life. (Like me posting this on my blog. I'm fully aware you don't really like reading this sort of thing but I no longer care for what you want because you clearly don't know what you want. If you had an idea, you would understand what I'm saying and you wouldn't be personally offended that I've told you you don't know what you're doing. Maybe I'm wrong. Keep reading.)
Maybe you think nothing calls you. Or you say you just don't have that passion.
RING RING YA HEAR ME???
You're going to die either way. We. All. Die. Its horrible unless you have lived prior to it. Think that over.
We are not meant to stay fragile and safe and scared and everyone else would love you to realize yourself so we can all thrive from the life it breeds. But life isn't fair and you just aren't made for it? You have too many obligations? It is NOT supposed to be easy. Passion and strength is created along the way, by request and effort and persistence. It's not something you have or don't have. Do you have any idea how weak and weightless I was even two years ago? I am recent in substantial ways. Now I live in my CAR. I brush my teeth with old shoelaces. Not true. But I had the conscious realization that if I were to die tonight, I would be at peace. Because I am alive and useful to myself and my purpose, for the first time in my life. In my CAR.
Life is what you make it. You are not helpless..If you were to open yourself to the possibilities, you would be much more likely to figure out what you are looking for if you do not yet know. Have you tried doing thing you've never done before? Maybe its not traditional for your culture so you hesitate. Or your friends would laugh, they who haven't the slightest idea how to be happy either.
They who help themselves are helped...........
They who stop themselves are stopped.
Listen: If you want a good life you must make it happen for yourself starting now. This isn't something a paycheck can do for you even eventually. Paychecks should not be what you spend your life on. They only make beating around your bush easier. And obligations deeper. If you really, REALLY want something, you would be surprised how far you can simplify your life to be able to focus on it... even if you have children, that which seems to be the permanent death of everyone's dreams. I think that you have a responsibility to them absolutely, but I must ask: Are they the end of you? You answer that question every day when you wake up and decide: I'm going to only maintain our state OR I'm going to make today better for every one of us.
It is INCREDIBLE what you can do if you REALLY want something. The sacrifices you make, the willpower you build, the person you become is all worth standing up and trying to be incredible for yourself and those you love, rather than on-par with all the people around you. Stop looking around. You are only limiting yourself.
You know why I write this? Not because I expect that in doing so everyone who reads this is going to go "Ah! He's Right!" and change their lives overnight. I write because literally: Everyone that hears my story goes "You are doing the right thing." Or "I wish I'd done that." or "My dream was to XYZ but we just never got around to it..."
I write because I may be the only source of uncomfortable thoughts that you expose yourself to and maybe, just maybe, I can plant a seed to grow slowly into something you can use to produce your own genuine happiness someday. Not default happiness, like 'Well I've got everything everybody else does now' - but actual fulfillment in your own mind and soul in your own way. I want you to experience a deep life no matter where you are in it. You are never too late, you just don't know the feeling of personal triumph over your fears that tell you: "I'm too late" yet.
You don't have to become a musician or an interplanetary justice superhero. Just do what moves you and intrigues you and keep moving towards that happiness with an open mind (You don't know what you need to get there, otherwise, you would have it already... hmm?) and keep challenging yourself in your own way. Hell I don't know what you need. But you aren't getting it sitting on your ass avoiding each passing day waiting for .... what? Seriously, what are you waiting on? What are your days passing for? Were you successful yesterday, was it useful to you? I hope so.
You only have so many.
I'm not saying that what you have done up until this point is useless or that you aren't making good decisions, or that you aren't on the right track. But maybe its time you started to put your preparation to use. There is no perfect time. You, by doing it, make it the perfect time. Don't wait until you die to start honoring yourself. You are alive today. That's actually plenty to begin.
Maybe you truly don't care. That's fine too. Your life. I just love you and believe this deeply enough so as to address it. Yes, even you who is reading this that somehow I've never met.
Congratulations. That really weird feeling you hopefully have now, halfway between excited and scared?
That's growth...
It is not always glorious.
- Love,
Fellow Mortal
P.S. NO PICTURES FOR YOU today.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Lincoln City Oregon
There's beautiful weather here so I have to make this quick.
I'm in Lincoln City Oregon. Everything I could need is here so I'm making myself at home in rotation through the hotels parking lots here - there's so many I can cycle through them without raising any eyes. Plus there's a Casino here that allows overnighting so actually I'm just staying there. I wasn't telling the truth a moment ago. But its a good idea.
I took a shower and shaved today so I look good once again. I've been walking on beaches and thinking and doing things with my guitar. I play for a lot of seagulls now. They actually stick around and the other day two that had been watching me started squawking at the exact same time, for the exact same length, with the exact same note when I finished one of the songs - it was NUTS. It's been better than quite nice. Still don't have my voice back. Got a membership at Safeway because I can buy breakfast sandwiches for $2 there which is a steal for how much food you get.
Zach I'm compiling data on your revamped hygeine standards inquiry. I've got some good ones now. Stand by for response.
Another nice thing about the coast is the seafood. I'm eating it.
Here's the most recent video and a new album.
I have to run before the sun leaves plus I'm done writing for the day. The brain needs something new.
I hope all of you are doing well. I'm still as happy as a dog with a steak in my car in this manner of living. You grow up a lot and so I'm getting what I wanted and then some.
Go now and make your lives better than they were yesterday because we're all hoping you do.
Watching flies rub their conniving hands together on a window drinking good coffee for a moment,
Brian
I'm in Lincoln City Oregon. Everything I could need is here so I'm making myself at home in rotation through the hotels parking lots here - there's so many I can cycle through them without raising any eyes. Plus there's a Casino here that allows overnighting so actually I'm just staying there. I wasn't telling the truth a moment ago. But its a good idea.
I took a shower and shaved today so I look good once again. I've been walking on beaches and thinking and doing things with my guitar. I play for a lot of seagulls now. They actually stick around and the other day two that had been watching me started squawking at the exact same time, for the exact same length, with the exact same note when I finished one of the songs - it was NUTS. It's been better than quite nice. Still don't have my voice back. Got a membership at Safeway because I can buy breakfast sandwiches for $2 there which is a steal for how much food you get.
Zach I'm compiling data on your revamped hygeine standards inquiry. I've got some good ones now. Stand by for response.
Another nice thing about the coast is the seafood. I'm eating it.
Here's the most recent video and a new album.
I have to run before the sun leaves plus I'm done writing for the day. The brain needs something new.
I hope all of you are doing well. I'm still as happy as a dog with a steak in my car in this manner of living. You grow up a lot and so I'm getting what I wanted and then some.
Go now and make your lives better than they were yesterday because we're all hoping you do.
Watching flies rub their conniving hands together on a window drinking good coffee for a moment,
Brian
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Coffee
He looked around and saw with eyes that had not opened but
for this morning. What guides a man when he listened to nobody and when he doubts
himself? The eyes took in a shop, smoky from the roasting in its stern, active
from the life that packed its walls, enjoying cups of its labor. The mug in
front of the eyes was vivid. Not because it was sunny outside to contrast the
last seven days, but because the eyes let the color be color. There was nothing
else to see, but it revealed what lay in front of him, steaming and awaiting
lips.
A window to his side revealed the dirty side of a second
building, this one containing nothing worth gathering among to relax. Its
constituents were invisible save for some fishing paraphernalia hung in its
glass. The eyes did not mind that the model ship and waning orange floats
suggested nothing certainly. It saw that though it was separated by property lines and multiple
physical boundaries to the body, it was still part of his shop. As was the
ocean to his other side, cold blues thrashing about along the shore, endlessly dangerous
to all man’s efforts upon it. Every other soul in the shop was a stranger but
he was glad they were there to mind themselves. Their being there gave him
something that he could not have given himself. These were the company of this
life and without them this life would be different.
But different is not so bad. Once difference can be appreciated as simply the product of alternative circumstance there is something about what is left, felt in panorama, the whole scope of the experience received, that makes it real. Men nearby spoke in confident tones on things they had only read and heard, worried to them by other men who lived and died as fast as they. The eyes listened to how their throats shook the air that gave them the oxygen to be so afraid, saw how the wood chairs supported their tired frames without them having asked politely beforehand, and wondered: Why does this give the experience a warm depth? Why don’t they feel it too?
But different is not so bad. Once difference can be appreciated as simply the product of alternative circumstance there is something about what is left, felt in panorama, the whole scope of the experience received, that makes it real. Men nearby spoke in confident tones on things they had only read and heard, worried to them by other men who lived and died as fast as they. The eyes listened to how their throats shook the air that gave them the oxygen to be so afraid, saw how the wood chairs supported their tired frames without them having asked politely beforehand, and wondered: Why does this give the experience a warm depth? Why don’t they feel it too?
What guides a man when he listened to nobody, and when he
doubts even himself? What remains interested? The answer is written nowhere, in
any stone that could forbid scripture by any who could be wrong or lie. None
exist who could even mark such a stone. But the eyes wondered if it isn't the same thing
that allows man to continue with or without his awareness, perfect knowledge, ideal
action, or confidence, and sipped. Today was a wonderful surprise.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
I've made it to Portland
I need to go do Laundry.
Quick summary of my thoughts:
I might be a wildland firefighter for the winter.
I've drank too much coffee today.
I need to go do laundry.
I like the book I'm writing. It feels really natural.
Portland isn't as cool as Seattle.
I take pride in my dental hygiene.
I'm glad I finally backed up all those images and sound files.
Its OK I still don't have my voice back.
Time to slow this down.
The leaves started changing really fast.
Here's an album of images and words.
You can read it or go mow the lawn or read about Persia or whatever i'm not going to stop you.
Quick summary of my thoughts:
I might be a wildland firefighter for the winter.
I've drank too much coffee today.
I need to go do laundry.
I like the book I'm writing. It feels really natural.
Portland isn't as cool as Seattle.
I take pride in my dental hygiene.
I'm glad I finally backed up all those images and sound files.
Its OK I still don't have my voice back.
Time to slow this down.
The leaves started changing really fast.
Here's an album of images and words.
You can read it or go mow the lawn or read about Persia or whatever i'm not going to stop you.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Who Titles Posts After Leaving Mt. Rainier Anymore
I'm somewhere in the state of Washington. Just got off Mt. Rainier (really its' ankles though). I met some really cool people while I was in northern Seattle, at Discovery Park. They asked me a good question and took some pictures and it turns out they (Krista and kin) are doing a really cool project called The Peace Wire. Krista asks a stranger what they believe peace to be each day and records their answer while taking good pictures. I'm the September 6th (Day 249) post - check it all out at The Peace Wire (Facebook) and give it a thumbs up, or at thepeacewire.com. Thanks for your time Krista, it was really cool meeting all of you!
I realize I have taken pictures. Found them on my phone, yes I did. Someone must be awfully upset that I got them and not they. I have heard heavy water helps you cope with loss but I cannot determine whose pictures these are to suggest they eat six each day for eight days daily with water once annually for one year. All of this can be found online. The pictures specifically can be found approximately here .
I took no videos. Couldn't find any.
On a less serious note I had the first and best Pho of my entire lifetime last night. Seriously, delicious. I have decided that if I lose my hands I will just start an authentic Pho kitchen. I'll call it Yum Yum Pho King Palace.
I have begun the ritual sacrifice of panini in an attempt to dispel this cough from my body forever. It is working.
I realize I have taken pictures. Found them on my phone, yes I did. Someone must be awfully upset that I got them and not they. I have heard heavy water helps you cope with loss but I cannot determine whose pictures these are to suggest they eat six each day for eight days daily with water once annually for one year. All of this can be found online. The pictures specifically can be found approximately here .
I took no videos. Couldn't find any.
On a less serious note I had the first and best Pho of my entire lifetime last night. Seriously, delicious. I have decided that if I lose my hands I will just start an authentic Pho kitchen. I'll call it Yum Yum Pho King Palace.
I have begun the ritual sacrifice of panini in an attempt to dispel this cough from my body forever. It is working.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Aloha St. and Dexter Ave N.
Hello again.
Its the Sun.
Glad to see we both made it.
Again.
What are you doing today?
Oh.
Cool.
Why?
I've seen every one of you live and die. Your parents and their parents and their parent's parents. I watched them spend their entire lives looking for something that they got sometimes. But what you have in your head to get is not what you would get, if you ever got it. Its just what you have in your head. Its like hearing someone tell you about a TV show and then actually watching it.
Anyways I hope you like what you're doing with your life. You're totally going to die. What you do today, and what you did yesterday, is the substance of your entire life. Tomorrow hasn't come and your life isn't about the things you never got around to do. What you do each day is what your life is. Just be sure to enjoy that. Everything else is a TV show someone described to you halfway. They might not even have seen it themselves.
You should go actually watch it before you can't and try to be happy because that's what your parents and their parent's and their friend's parents' parents all actually wanted. Maybe you just need to try something differently. You know, put some real effort into it, an uncomfortable or nontraditional amount. Maybe someone told you about a really bad episode and you're just afraid to watch it now. But anyways I have some life to support I've got to go. You are wearing too much sunscreen by the way
Forever Yours,
Sol
Monday, September 8, 2014
Finding Water
I'm in Seattle. I'll stay a bit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)
I have barely read the article. I have been considering flow for a long time. Yesterday I defined the keys for myself. If not the keys, then the keys to the keys.
A present-minded willingness and confidence to create.
Present-minded to recognize that it is only now that anything that can happen, happens. I wish I could make you deeply understand how important this is to the human mind with regards to making any product. Until you intentionally cultivate this focus (unless you're still under the age of 6 or perhaps 10) you are always thinking by default. While you are thinking, you are not taking part in the world as it turns beneath your feet. You are talking with your projections and expectations as you think, all being a part of the mind that entertains them. While you're thinking you're playing with yourself. You are not focused on the resources you have in the real world, only imaginary ones. You have to give the moment your full attention, and then oddly enough, you lose it. Worrying or thinking robs your mind of precious mental space, space you are not willing to lose, space that cannot be lost.
Willingness because you recognize you haven't yet ever heard what you're about to create. So you're willing to hear something new. Willing to create something original. Something you couldn't have imagined you being capable of creating. Saying to yourself: "I couldn't do that" means you are staunching a small but important part of your psyche that would have otherwise allowed you to see what you're capable of, regardless of what you think that may be. That is to also say, "regardless of what others think that may be." You are more than your thoughts, more than what you think you are. So much more than what other people would allow you. Be willing to discover this. It also helps abate the surprise reaction from hearing something awesome, and stumbling. Be willing to express, discover, create. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to try again. Be willing to try it from a new angle. Be willing to push yourself. You cannot know what you need to do - be willing to receive it.
Confidence: Recognizing that you are not only capable, but also that anything that could stop you is now entirely in your hands. And you refuse to let anything stop you. Other brains can only speak, speaking as brains that haven't the slightest understanding of what you are. You are not here to show them, nor would their irrefutable praise to your glory help you in the slightest, so all insecurity (worrying for what you are relative to others) or pride becomes as useless as cash money to garden plants.You were always and still are the only brain that can actually stop you. And we all can do this very well. Confidence is caring not for what others think (they that can only judge), enjoying what you are so much that you are excited to experience it, and knowing:
That the world bends for the mind that would shape it.
In your willpower's absence, the world keeps turning. But if you actually put yourself out there? Yes, its unusual, foreign, uncertain but - The world responds. It bends to you. You bend to it. You aren't separate from the world. In a way you are still only changing yourself. But if you don't put it out there, create it, it will never be created. So your confidence is somehow a refusal to not try, to kill it before it could grow.
I'm going to go play my guitar. This is what I actually got from the article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autotelic
For those that still worry, I hope that helps you understand this better.
Greetings from a pretty city.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)
I have barely read the article. I have been considering flow for a long time. Yesterday I defined the keys for myself. If not the keys, then the keys to the keys.
A present-minded willingness and confidence to create.
Present-minded to recognize that it is only now that anything that can happen, happens. I wish I could make you deeply understand how important this is to the human mind with regards to making any product. Until you intentionally cultivate this focus (unless you're still under the age of 6 or perhaps 10) you are always thinking by default. While you are thinking, you are not taking part in the world as it turns beneath your feet. You are talking with your projections and expectations as you think, all being a part of the mind that entertains them. While you're thinking you're playing with yourself. You are not focused on the resources you have in the real world, only imaginary ones. You have to give the moment your full attention, and then oddly enough, you lose it. Worrying or thinking robs your mind of precious mental space, space you are not willing to lose, space that cannot be lost.
Willingness because you recognize you haven't yet ever heard what you're about to create. So you're willing to hear something new. Willing to create something original. Something you couldn't have imagined you being capable of creating. Saying to yourself: "I couldn't do that" means you are staunching a small but important part of your psyche that would have otherwise allowed you to see what you're capable of, regardless of what you think that may be. That is to also say, "regardless of what others think that may be." You are more than your thoughts, more than what you think you are. So much more than what other people would allow you. Be willing to discover this. It also helps abate the surprise reaction from hearing something awesome, and stumbling. Be willing to express, discover, create. Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to try again. Be willing to try it from a new angle. Be willing to push yourself. You cannot know what you need to do - be willing to receive it.
Confidence: Recognizing that you are not only capable, but also that anything that could stop you is now entirely in your hands. And you refuse to let anything stop you. Other brains can only speak, speaking as brains that haven't the slightest understanding of what you are. You are not here to show them, nor would their irrefutable praise to your glory help you in the slightest, so all insecurity (worrying for what you are relative to others) or pride becomes as useless as cash money to garden plants.You were always and still are the only brain that can actually stop you. And we all can do this very well. Confidence is caring not for what others think (they that can only judge), enjoying what you are so much that you are excited to experience it, and knowing:
That the world bends for the mind that would shape it.
In your willpower's absence, the world keeps turning. But if you actually put yourself out there? Yes, its unusual, foreign, uncertain but - The world responds. It bends to you. You bend to it. You aren't separate from the world. In a way you are still only changing yourself. But if you don't put it out there, create it, it will never be created. So your confidence is somehow a refusal to not try, to kill it before it could grow.
I'm going to go play my guitar. This is what I actually got from the article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autotelic
For those that still worry, I hope that helps you understand this better.
Greetings from a pretty city.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Glacier(s) and Kin
What's suppositivatorial my friend candidates. I have now left Glacier National Park and departed from my Kin therein. Did I tell you that we would be there? They flew in and I met them from Canada - oh, now it's coming back, I should also tell you about the glacier I walked on because that was one of the coolest things I've ever done with this body and consciousness.
So I drove from Yellowstone up through Calgary, Banff and then to the Columbia Ice Field to walk on a glacier (5 hour guided tour). I had a short time in both those cities, Walmarts allow overnighting in Canada too for the most part so I only had to book a hostel in Banff, which was cool. Beauty in the rock behemoths. Wild. Because the mountains up there don't resemble the mountains down here (that I've seen). The Rockies-Eh had massive foundations and craggy danger peaks, but a lot of flat-tops too. Hard to put into words. Honestly though I just don't want to right now. Here's some pictures.
And a video I made in the Canadian Rockies. This was after the Glacier.
The Glacier was nuts. Nuts. Capital Nuts. I'm going to walk a true Ice Field before I die ideally - the glacier was a starting taste and now I want the full course. Check out the pictures, there will be professional descriptions to identify the natural features and emotions it inspired.
Then I left. Short stint at the US Border Patrol which [opinion redacted], made me want to turn the fuck around and [opinion redacted] and shit. But I got through because I'm a citizen of the United States of America. That's the secret.
And met me Kin in Glacier National Park! We got to catch up, I showed them my CarV, we ate food and drank drinks and shared good time. We enjoyed a really awesome park, I liked the forests the best there of those that I've been to so far (excepting Redwoods in California) but it is a shame the glaciers are retreating as fast as they are. There's no chance there will be any glaciers to speak of in a decade or two in the park. We saw three black bears, a moose, a bald eagle, some ground squirrels, and some mountain goats that defy conventional possibility. I don't have pictures of them because they were too far away, too high up on a sheer arete, chilling like they had lawn chairs.
And I have since said farewell to my Kin and departed for Seattle. It's time to start playing on the corners, Songalong style. Tell me what you want to hear and I will give you more than you bargained for (not you.). Except i'm losing my voice from this fucking cough I picked up somewhere a week ago. Its ONLY A COUGH. And it has disabled me. At least it isn't throat Giardia. or real Giardia.
So i'll spend some time researching WWOOF's to volunteer on and see what I can see around here until i'm feeling well enough to Songalong. Righteous. I take what I am given. In the meantime I still have fingers. Time to fing.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Post-Yellowstone and Four Hours and Two Cups later
I uploaded pictures.
I have also uploaded a singular video.
Do what you will.
I'm out of Yellowstone now. I took a very long detour through the northeast entrance (My destination is Northwest) to take the Beartooth Highway as it was highly recommended by a stranger. 200+ miles later I had driven the most ineffably beautiful stretch of road I have ever driven. Pictures exist up yonder. I can't even explain it. Pictures barely help the majesty of it. I do have videos but they are incoherent due to the wonder's effect on my feeble mind.
So then I got a victory pizza (sans fungi) and drove all the way to where I was supposed to be after having left Yellowstone's north entrance - Bozeman, Montana. There is the highest concentration of beautiful women here that I've ever seen. It could just be that I've only seen buffalo recently (no offence Bison bison) but it must be statistically significant and warrants further study in the name of science and mankind.
I get to stock up on more vittles, map out the next shower and overnight stays (there are so many up here though) and start heading to Flathead Lake, then Jasper Ice Fields, then back down to Glacier to meet my kin. I have good time so that's quite nice. I'm going to go make sure it is spent well. It is an unruly toddler and sometimes gets itself into situations where it dwindles and dies without my own efforts.
I finished one song I'd been writing (trying) for 6+ months. And it is the funniest song I've ever written while still being completely musical and enjoyable and non-caustic and consistent. Learned a mental trick that might help in future blocks. In the process I completely wrote a second immediately afterwards. Within Yellowstone I also wrote three more complete songs. I just need to practice them like a furious musical beast and I'll have seven completely diverse representative songs of my own to speak for that I am actually proud of, since leaving. Do you even know how critical of myself I am?
That's a trick question you have no fucking idea and you would upset me if you even tried to answer that. This is success. My brain can breathe again and it hasn't taken breaths this deep since ever. I've never been this completely happy, for so many reasons. The summary being how much of myself I own control and direct directly contributes to how creative I am (Duh?) and happy I am (being both a product and ingredient to creativity). A Positive Cycle.
I'm going to tell you something I tell myself in the event it helps you, as much as it helped me: You (I am) are dumb. Stop trying to influence/control/explain away the vista and let your humbled mind and decisions find your place within it naturally. This lets you a) actually enjoy what you see without feeling any pressure to influence it or direct it (a fear of the unknown?) b) makes you so much more enjoyable to be around, and c) shows you things you could never have imagined yourself (for me - this is aka inspiration). What do you want more: To surround yourself entirely with things you can control and understand, or be permeated by a world that is completely inundated with a beauty that you could not have imagined/crafted yourself? Depends what you want - beauty or stagnation, restraint. Responsibility to lead everything you have taken to attempt control. The need to be right and need to be most correct stops you from experiencing beauty and freedom. This need punches holes in the scenery and makes you believe you know how to patch it up better.
But we don't. Let it be and be with it humbly, you are small and dumb and It is Good because therefore, life is always new. You can learn more. Let it come to you and enjoy it as it does, for you didn't force it to. Carry on, sweet chariots.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Owl Toast and Bear Jam
Supalumphagus. I splurged and bought an hour - wait, two - of wifi and a cup of coffee at the Canyon Lounge. I need to show you some videos. But because this is only a third medal in a race grade of Wifi I won't be able to upload any pictures at the moment without cannibalizing. Unless I purchase the rights to more internet. Net neutrality is already lost here.
Please see as follows:
Somebody is Missing Their Dog
Grebe Lake (Note: Internet is by the hour here; this video took 66 minutes to upload. Accepting donations)
This Hill Became Occupied
I do not particularly like lakes but they appear to produce good videos when shot in their proximity. Such is life. Maybe you have a good experience with a lake in your life too. Please tell me when I return.
While I'm waiting for the day to warm up and the food I just obliterated (You said all you can eat, dudes, you can't stop me now) to settle down I will tell you what I saw today. Right here. In Yellowstone. In the next sentence. I saw: as I woke up early and drove to my next campsite to establish a place to sleep before I climb that mountain on my radar (Mt. Washburn): A mother and cub grizzly breakfasting on a carcass, two grey wolves watching this from a distance, and then further from the mess multiple coyotes yapping about it like those awful children at the last campsite. I have no good pictures because I saw all this through a strangers scope. And then I saw five bison, and then seven pelicans. Yup. Doing bison and pelican things, you bet. Good call.
This was within one and a half hours of waking. I do like Jiellosthone. Yesterday I spent all day at Mary Bay making music and enjoying both lake waves and waves of rain and sunshine. Today I will climb a mountain. Tomorrow I will wake up and see what I feel like because we write our own lives.
I should shave my face now. Peace.
Please see as follows:
Somebody is Missing Their Dog
Grebe Lake (Note: Internet is by the hour here; this video took 66 minutes to upload. Accepting donations)
This Hill Became Occupied
I do not particularly like lakes but they appear to produce good videos when shot in their proximity. Such is life. Maybe you have a good experience with a lake in your life too. Please tell me when I return.
While I'm waiting for the day to warm up and the food I just obliterated (You said all you can eat, dudes, you can't stop me now) to settle down I will tell you what I saw today. Right here. In Yellowstone. In the next sentence. I saw: as I woke up early and drove to my next campsite to establish a place to sleep before I climb that mountain on my radar (Mt. Washburn): A mother and cub grizzly breakfasting on a carcass, two grey wolves watching this from a distance, and then further from the mess multiple coyotes yapping about it like those awful children at the last campsite. I have no good pictures because I saw all this through a strangers scope. And then I saw five bison, and then seven pelicans. Yup. Doing bison and pelican things, you bet. Good call.
This was within one and a half hours of waking. I do like Jiellosthone. Yesterday I spent all day at Mary Bay making music and enjoying both lake waves and waves of rain and sunshine. Today I will climb a mountain. Tomorrow I will wake up and see what I feel like because we write our own lives.
I should shave my face now. Peace.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Ground Control to Ranger Tom
I cant upload any videos or picture on the gerbil wheel wifi but I'm quite alive and now abiding in Yellowstone, as of Friday. I'll be here for another 7 days and then head north for motherland Canada. Yes. So much to do. So Yellow. So Stone. So far I've seen otters, bison, pronghorns, bats, ravens, eagles, osprey, a brown bear, and lots of things on two legs wearing clothes that nobody has been able to give me a straight answer about. Probably a Montana/Wyoming cult secret. Many cool bugs.
That's cool.
This is the coolest thing I've ever done.
The Grand Tetons (French for The Grand Tits) were ineffable, though Tits does give you the general shape of the peaks. For such a small space (relative to Yellowstone) there was so much to do and see, people to meet, information to sponge. I forget how many days I spent there. No wait, four and a half. I climbed to 9,600 feet and played at the open mic night at the Hootananny to warm folks and reception. Jackson Hole was great though someone needs to slap their barbecue up a bit, it lacks and I truly mean that Bubba's. You need to put love into that pork. And then kill it and put it on a bun.
But if you ever go to Jackson Hole GO TO THE BIRD. Its a restaurant, best burgers of my life. Locals pointed me to a free campsite atop the elk refuge's hills overlooking the Tetons, I also slept in the Great Tit's own land and was legitimately moved by the incredible beauty that is an entire ecosystem, breathing and exhaling, tearing the sky up abruptly. Silent and magnanimous. Pictures help considerably more, but still can't even capture the feeling. You can't help but relax into the place. Divine primal natural experience. I saw a bear there. It was eating berries and was entirely unremarkable. I took a picture of the berries it was eating however the bear is not visible so perhaps I am lying, though I am not. Melanie and Marion were an awesome turn of events and I'm fortunate to have met you. Thank you for the bread. Go destroy San Francisco.
Now in Yellowstone, I have since spent an entire day walking Old Faithful and Friends. It is getting lazy and only generally predictable. Perhaps a modernized, fitting re-christening would be "Maybe Sprays Then." The sheer number of thermal sites here (mud pots, geysers, springs, etc) is large. Most concentrated location in the world. So many pictures. I can't wait to upload them, only pictures can do those hot tamales justice. I can easily fill up another 7 days with what I have yet to have seen. SO WE KEEP MOVING. (Not my video, seriously, I can't upload anything)
You are probably immune to this but you get from life what you put out into it. Your thought patterns and expectations color and form what you perceive as having received. This is not hippie magic. This is the nature of human consciousness. Enjoy yourselves because until you do nobody else can.
Mmmm, our challenges. They are held like fire but can quench thirst like water.
The music never stopped. Far from it. Get in the box.
That's cool.
This is the coolest thing I've ever done.
The Grand Tetons (French for The Grand Tits) were ineffable, though Tits does give you the general shape of the peaks. For such a small space (relative to Yellowstone) there was so much to do and see, people to meet, information to sponge. I forget how many days I spent there. No wait, four and a half. I climbed to 9,600 feet and played at the open mic night at the Hootananny to warm folks and reception. Jackson Hole was great though someone needs to slap their barbecue up a bit, it lacks and I truly mean that Bubba's. You need to put love into that pork. And then kill it and put it on a bun.
But if you ever go to Jackson Hole GO TO THE BIRD. Its a restaurant, best burgers of my life. Locals pointed me to a free campsite atop the elk refuge's hills overlooking the Tetons, I also slept in the Great Tit's own land and was legitimately moved by the incredible beauty that is an entire ecosystem, breathing and exhaling, tearing the sky up abruptly. Silent and magnanimous. Pictures help considerably more, but still can't even capture the feeling. You can't help but relax into the place. Divine primal natural experience. I saw a bear there. It was eating berries and was entirely unremarkable. I took a picture of the berries it was eating however the bear is not visible so perhaps I am lying, though I am not. Melanie and Marion were an awesome turn of events and I'm fortunate to have met you. Thank you for the bread. Go destroy San Francisco.
Now in Yellowstone, I have since spent an entire day walking Old Faithful and Friends. It is getting lazy and only generally predictable. Perhaps a modernized, fitting re-christening would be "Maybe Sprays Then." The sheer number of thermal sites here (mud pots, geysers, springs, etc) is large. Most concentrated location in the world. So many pictures. I can't wait to upload them, only pictures can do those hot tamales justice. I can easily fill up another 7 days with what I have yet to have seen. SO WE KEEP MOVING. (Not my video, seriously, I can't upload anything)
You are probably immune to this but you get from life what you put out into it. Your thought patterns and expectations color and form what you perceive as having received. This is not hippie magic. This is the nature of human consciousness. Enjoy yourselves because until you do nobody else can.
Mmmm, our challenges. They are held like fire but can quench thirst like water.
The music never stopped. Far from it. Get in the box.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Come In Dump Gull; Expect Radio Silence
I'm in Idaho Falls, one of the last civilized outlets before I hit Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone, etc, moving north. Gonna spend a day here finalizing and preparing and then i'll head out early tomorrow morning. I am expecting there to be very limited internet and cell phone access while I'm in the heart of the parks so I'm not sure when i'll be able to post/update/upload the next videos and whatnot.
Speaking of which enjoy my latest video, where I say things about bears. I explore alternative spoken language methods and break the hearts of a few chipmunks. There is also a haughty stream.
If you click on the following word enantiodromia you may or may not find a new album of pictures as well.
What would exist if everything you think about yourself is proven wrong? What remains in the space between thoughts, when they do not take place? What is there by default?
What you actually are.
Stop.
And You resume.
I'm going to be gone for awhile, resuming. I'll update this when I am able to, but in the interim. I will be doing one of the many things I came to do. No worries, I will return and I will be satisfied.
Peace. Really.
Back to you.
Speaking of which enjoy my latest video, where I say things about bears. I explore alternative spoken language methods and break the hearts of a few chipmunks. There is also a haughty stream.
If you click on the following word enantiodromia you may or may not find a new album of pictures as well.
What would exist if everything you think about yourself is proven wrong? What remains in the space between thoughts, when they do not take place? What is there by default?
What you actually are.
Stop.
And You resume.
I'm going to be gone for awhile, resuming. I'll update this when I am able to, but in the interim. I will be doing one of the many things I came to do. No worries, I will return and I will be satisfied.
Peace. Really.
Back to you.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Cinnemon Tost Cranch
Song of The Journey- Not mine. But have some electronic passion. Speaking of electronic passion, have a Bonobo - Days to Come.
I'm in Denver. I'm going to spend a day and a night here (because I booked a ghost tour at the Stanley Hotel can I get a Boo Baby) and get a feel for the city and then keep moving. Craters of the Lake, Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, Mammoth Hot Springs, Flathead Lake, Glacier National Park. Going to aim to see them all, but realistically I won't and will opt to spend some more time in a few and none in others. I'm certainly still aiming to do the Deluxe Ice Walk in Canada.. check that out.
On that note I'm skipping Salt Lake City completely. I've been looking at what the place offers and its a lot of things I care nothing for, so scratching that off my map. Plus the distance from Denver to SLC then to the Tetons is 4 hours longer than Denver to the Tetons. That's a day when it comes down to travel and accommodations. I mean Walmart.
Today I'm going to outline what I'm doing in the next month as best I can, mentally, musically and physically. I mean, attempt to. Didn't expect to hit Colorado Springs in the first place but I spent 3 solid days there and I will be back with good company some day. What a beautiful place.
Yo, its lonely. Not soul-crunching lonely but I would love to be able to spend time enjoying everything I've seen with someone else. Its one thing to have your own memories and be able to look back in your head and say I Did That Myself but something about doing it with someone you share a common denominator with makes it so much more real. I've already met some really, really cool people even just in passing that have made it so. I don't think i'd change anything still, as this is still a good balance between comfort and growth, but I do think about ya'll. I'm glad CRS talked me into this blog so there's a connection. Take care all.
And have a video of me jamming with a song I'm working on. Deericious. The deer was there for about 30 minutes grazing around while I practiced. Animals can see why kids love cinneman tost cranch.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Colorado Springs So Far
Colorado Springs is awesome. I'll leave tomorrow. Manitou Springs (right besides Colo Sprgs) has eight natural springs that have different quantities of minerals and all taste different, each being used to treat a different set of ailments/disease over the past 200 years. They work actually, being rich in anything from lithium to iron to calcium. A cool woman gave me some solid local advise and bought me a drink/sandwich for driving her off the top of Pikes Peak. My car handled that sucker like a champ. Some people were told they couldn't drive further down the mountain for 40 minutes to let their brakes cool off.. the CarV just gets shifted into 4 low-low and goes slowly. I drive a beast.
Then today I locked my keys in my car. Triple A'd them back into my possession for free. Sorry everybody else on the policy, the next lock-in's $50. I also went on the Incline - really just a trainwreck of railroad ties and ridiculous grades up the side of a mountain that people train on/succumb to. Turns out i'm reasonably fit and I only had to take 4 breaks; The consensual suffering on that trail was heavy. Then I spoke with some dude who was on his 8th ascent/descent that day. I'm glad I did it, the trail is closing August 17th or so, indefinitely, for repair. It seriously looks like there was a horrible train derailment and explosion then an immediate ceremony to make it a hiking trail.
Tomorrow I hit a goldmine (literally) and then I'll drive up to Denver. The goldmine goes 1000 feet under the surface and you get to see gold veins in their natural state.
Uploading a few videos because I found an awesome Starbucks with Google Fiber. I will actually catch up to current today. Two from the top of Pike's Peak, including one of my songs as it stands, and one from the Garden of the Gods. Pax.
The View from Pike's Peak
Atlas
Garden of the Gods (1 of 2 - 2 exists but I won't link it, it is only to show the namesake rocks)
Then today I locked my keys in my car. Triple A'd them back into my possession for free. Sorry everybody else on the policy, the next lock-in's $50. I also went on the Incline - really just a trainwreck of railroad ties and ridiculous grades up the side of a mountain that people train on/succumb to. Turns out i'm reasonably fit and I only had to take 4 breaks; The consensual suffering on that trail was heavy. Then I spoke with some dude who was on his 8th ascent/descent that day. I'm glad I did it, the trail is closing August 17th or so, indefinitely, for repair. It seriously looks like there was a horrible train derailment and explosion then an immediate ceremony to make it a hiking trail.
Tomorrow I hit a goldmine (literally) and then I'll drive up to Denver. The goldmine goes 1000 feet under the surface and you get to see gold veins in their natural state.
Uploading a few videos because I found an awesome Starbucks with Google Fiber. I will actually catch up to current today. Two from the top of Pike's Peak, including one of my songs as it stands, and one from the Garden of the Gods. Pax.
The View from Pike's Peak
Atlas
Garden of the Gods (1 of 2 - 2 exists but I won't link it, it is only to show the namesake rocks)
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Sand
Bienvenido - I'm sitting in an authentic Thai joint just south of
Bueno Vista, CO as I write this one. Best Pad Thai I have ever masticated. I
told the nice lady as much and then she told me the wifi password. Well played.
Video - Enjoy this short drive with me
through Colorado while I wait for the whole set of Sand Dune videos to upload.
In this movie we discuss how to make the perfect croissants and what living in
the Cretacious period (remember modern indoor plumbing wasn't introduced until
1829) must have been like for pachycephalosauri. Be prepared to
hear a lot of wind and half-sentences. Let's talk about those dunes.
Dunes. The Chicken of the Sahara. You can’t really get an idea of their size until you’re on
top of them. I spent a day walking on top of the dunes, making music on the side
of the stream, then sheltering in my caRV while the sky rolled a slow and
punchy rainstorm over our heads for an hour. Sand in the everywhere. I successfully cooked eggs on my camp stove, trial ran the whole bear-storage thing (no problems as they provided bear boxes though my bear sense never tingled) and took those pictures. We had deer stroll through the campsite like they owned the place. Deer.
I have since hit Colorado Springs and have found I really, really like the town. But only for its natural beauty. But it has all amenities and a place called Larkburger which makes a fine Truffle Burger. I'm going to stay a few days and enjoy/plan. Just not at the Walmart I was at last night because at one point I had a train, leaf blower (at four in the morning) and a car horn going off at the same time. Made me pop in my ear plugs, they did.
I went to Garden of the Gods early this morning and took the pictures you saw in the Dunes album (Here). As you may have guessed, I'm no longer in that Authentic Thai Joint. I'm going to find a proper spot on some rocks and upload one of my own songs next. First I'll upload the Garden's videos. Everything is backlogged, it takes thirty minutes to upload four. It'll get there.
Pax.
I have since hit Colorado Springs and have found I really, really like the town. But only for its natural beauty. But it has all amenities and a place called Larkburger which makes a fine Truffle Burger. I'm going to stay a few days and enjoy/plan. Just not at the Walmart I was at last night because at one point I had a train, leaf blower (at four in the morning) and a car horn going off at the same time. Made me pop in my ear plugs, they did.
I went to Garden of the Gods early this morning and took the pictures you saw in the Dunes album (Here). As you may have guessed, I'm no longer in that Authentic Thai Joint. I'm going to find a proper spot on some rocks and upload one of my own songs next. First I'll upload the Garden's videos. Everything is backlogged, it takes thirty minutes to upload four. It'll get there.
Pax.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Kansas City
Sup. Video and pictures incoming, rejoice!
Being in Kansas
Stationary Videos
By the way you can find the gallery of all the trip's pictures at that second link, allroadsstartwithyou.imgur.com.
I realize I haven't spoken on the location changes. But i'm two hours into this Starbucks thing and I want my guitar. I'll update it further tomorrow, sit tight with your video and be well.
Being in Kansas
Stationary Videos
By the way you can find the gallery of all the trip's pictures at that second link, allroadsstartwithyou.imgur.com.
I realize I haven't spoken on the location changes. But i'm two hours into this Starbucks thing and I want my guitar. I'll update it further tomorrow, sit tight with your video and be well.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
St. Louis
See ya St. Louis. Thanks for the cheap gas, huge arch, the horrible waiting line for the ride up it to which I said nope, and free attractions within your rippling green grass park of fame and fair. I saw your awesome art in the building that you built for it. I saw your zoo, what with your lonely and sometimes hyperventilating animals, including your hippopotamus and its feces-fiesta. Did you know hippo's tails are actually used to project feces like a pressurized cheese grater? They are. I suggest muting that and pairing it up with Rainy Mood. A blue cheese and chardonnay.
I also took reigns to a wicked kite and was taught how to fly it. I also played guitar and started an awesome song, with a strong positive feel. Today was a good day. Here's a recap in a form that doesn't require literacy. I'm going to chill for a bit while that uploads on this Lowe's Guest Wifi. ---- And it stopped at 30%. I'm going to upload the video tomorrow at a Starbucks, maybe.
Next stop is Kansas City. There i'll plan for a long drive plus camping out for a night to split it up. Except I'm going to be in or around my car so I can't call it camping. Let's call it Cheating. Then I'll be in Denver for a day. Then Salt Lake City. Then I go camp through the Tetons, Yellowstone and hopefully Glacier National park over the course of a month. I have until early to mid September to have the full parks open, but that's totally up to the snow and me.
Sleeping in the car isn't so bad. The only real downside other than my amateur selection of parking space is the lack of ceiling fan. I haven't felt unsafe yet but better to be ready to safeify an area so I also bought a little league aluminum baseball bat, Spiderman flavored, just in case. Dome runs if ever absolutely needed. 14 ounces of prevention are better than a pound of cure.
Onward.
I also took reigns to a wicked kite and was taught how to fly it. I also played guitar and started an awesome song, with a strong positive feel. Today was a good day. Here's a recap in a form that doesn't require literacy. I'm going to chill for a bit while that uploads on this Lowe's Guest Wifi. ---- And it stopped at 30%. I'm going to upload the video tomorrow at a Starbucks, maybe.
Next stop is Kansas City. There i'll plan for a long drive plus camping out for a night to split it up. Except I'm going to be in or around my car so I can't call it camping. Let's call it Cheating. Then I'll be in Denver for a day. Then Salt Lake City. Then I go camp through the Tetons, Yellowstone and hopefully Glacier National park over the course of a month. I have until early to mid September to have the full parks open, but that's totally up to the snow and me.
Sleeping in the car isn't so bad. The only real downside other than my amateur selection of parking space is the lack of ceiling fan. I haven't felt unsafe yet but better to be ready to safeify an area so I also bought a little league aluminum baseball bat, Spiderman flavored, just in case. Dome runs if ever absolutely needed. 14 ounces of prevention are better than a pound of cure.
Onward.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Carbon Footprints
AAaaaaaallllrrriiiiighhttttt, time. I hear your tip-toes in the garden by the window.
I'm buying my lease out and leaving Friday. The roommate thing was not legitimate after all nor actually working out. Hats off to you, leasing office. No hard feelings, just keep your son away from my credit score. I'll pay you.
I'll throw a video of my mobile home's setup in here when I've cleared out all the moving stuff and am in daylight. If I had died today, I would have gone to the Valhalla for Housemaids. 409 pours from all taps, the tables of glass get cleaner with every fingerprint, and multilingual sentient Shamwow pads with hands, obsessive compulsive disorder, and gusto run among the marble bungalows. Noiseless rubber gloves and scented miracles, gilded aprons, tiramisu. Toilets that wipe themselves. Breakfast in bed. Feet masseuse. Haha, feet masseuse. Say that out loud. Shit, I should have died today.
You might say, we already have ovens that clean themselves! Yes! I pressed that button and now my eyes are of a fire hotter than the little sun showering itself in my kitchen. I can see the carbon in the air. It has weight. I'm so sorry pizza drippings... If I had known what the oven would do to you. I would have eaten you with a paint scraper myself.
My first stop is going to be somewhere between Nashville and St. Louis. Probably a Walmart. I need to get to the national parks (and glorious mother CANADA!) before the snow hits so I'm breezing through the great plains to get there. Dont want to wait - I'll have more worth sitting on a corner in Nashville on my return anyways, though that's not exactly true. I'm going to make people custom songs based on whatever they identify for whatever tip they want to provide. Guess I can realistically do that for a an hour +change and then take a break. I want to know how much I can earn doing that, because I do that in my car all day. Gets me all giddy.
Back to eating eggs with hot sauce, chia seeds and apricots. Actually quite nice. Two different bowls there, though a milkshake of that might be refreshing.
But I want Chick-Fil-A. What do they feed those chickens, nicotine?
I'm buying my lease out and leaving Friday. The roommate thing was not legitimate after all nor actually working out. Hats off to you, leasing office. No hard feelings, just keep your son away from my credit score. I'll pay you.
I'll throw a video of my mobile home's setup in here when I've cleared out all the moving stuff and am in daylight. If I had died today, I would have gone to the Valhalla for Housemaids. 409 pours from all taps, the tables of glass get cleaner with every fingerprint, and multilingual sentient Shamwow pads with hands, obsessive compulsive disorder, and gusto run among the marble bungalows. Noiseless rubber gloves and scented miracles, gilded aprons, tiramisu. Toilets that wipe themselves. Breakfast in bed. Feet masseuse. Haha, feet masseuse. Say that out loud. Shit, I should have died today.
You might say, we already have ovens that clean themselves! Yes! I pressed that button and now my eyes are of a fire hotter than the little sun showering itself in my kitchen. I can see the carbon in the air. It has weight. I'm so sorry pizza drippings... If I had known what the oven would do to you. I would have eaten you with a paint scraper myself.
My first stop is going to be somewhere between Nashville and St. Louis. Probably a Walmart. I need to get to the national parks (and glorious mother CANADA!) before the snow hits so I'm breezing through the great plains to get there. Dont want to wait - I'll have more worth sitting on a corner in Nashville on my return anyways, though that's not exactly true. I'm going to make people custom songs based on whatever they identify for whatever tip they want to provide. Guess I can realistically do that for a an hour +change and then take a break. I want to know how much I can earn doing that, because I do that in my car all day. Gets me all giddy.
Back to eating eggs with hot sauce, chia seeds and apricots. Actually quite nice. Two different bowls there, though a milkshake of that might be refreshing.
But I want Chick-Fil-A. What do they feed those chickens, nicotine?
Sunday, July 13, 2014
On Ghost Notes and Rebound
T minus ∞ until I move out. First world problems. Credit shenanigans with the potential tenant. She did not pass go and actually lost $35, she did. Shame. In anticipation of a successful leasey loophole barrel roll my apartment was stripped bare like a body via sky burial so I'm sleeping on inflatables and living like I'm already in this large, broken vehicle with plumbing. Not so bad, but I still pee in bottles and leave them outside behind trees and bins because I will be prepared for this trip. Anyways, as I write this, one more good potential fell through and two more are inquiring. Time will tell.
I'll now write a poem. Please enjoy the following poem accompanied by a cup of your favorite and most appropriate state of matter for the circumstance. Tell your mother you'll be back, the casserole can wait. Or don't read it and keep going, I truly don't care and will never know.
"
One foot to shore, the other treads
This nascent space.
Resented roof, unfettered head
Sew patient days, each end to end.
Doth time wait for any lease?
To sail though one may care to sink,
To craft time worth its' memory,
To sleep where most tote groceries,
All of these may come to I
But here I sit, I stay.
Filling bottles with the waste
Of freedom and its' summoned will!
To carry far the burden
Of life that begs, fulfil!
But here I stay, I sleep on bags
Of borrowed air and swallow beans,
In comfort from the elements
I write and weep;
One foot to shore, the other treads
The nascent space, within me.
"
Actually that would be a song if I gave it two chords, so maybe the songs I haven't ever developed past words are just poems and I have hundreds. So I'm a poet now. Wasn't expecting to accomplish that today, but I've done that before between being born and graduating college so it's fine.
Bernard Purdie now offers you advise on life.
....As long as you groove.
Every enjoyed anything as much as he enjoyed that?
Me neither. Can't even do that with ice cream. Its a life goal of mine.
"Enjoy something as much as Sir Purdie does the Purdie Shuffle."
GO FORTH ALL YE WITH WILL.
FEEL IT, WHATEVER MAY OCCUPY YOU
FOR YOU AS YOU ARE HERE CAN ONLY HAVE THIS AS IT IS NOW ONCE-
AS CHANGE IS THE FABRIC OF EXPERIENCE.
THOUGH MORE ALWAYS FOLLOWS AND IT ALWAYS HAS,
IT IS NEVER THE TIME TO DISREGARD WHAT IS NOW:
LIFE IN ITS ENTIRETY.
Peace.
I'll now write a poem. Please enjoy the following poem accompanied by a cup of your favorite and most appropriate state of matter for the circumstance. Tell your mother you'll be back, the casserole can wait. Or don't read it and keep going, I truly don't care and will never know.
"
One foot to shore, the other treads
This nascent space.
Resented roof, unfettered head
Sew patient days, each end to end.
Doth time wait for any lease?
To sail though one may care to sink,
To craft time worth its' memory,
To sleep where most tote groceries,
All of these may come to I
But here I sit, I stay.
Filling bottles with the waste
Of freedom and its' summoned will!
To carry far the burden
Of life that begs, fulfil!
But here I stay, I sleep on bags
Of borrowed air and swallow beans,
In comfort from the elements
I write and weep;
One foot to shore, the other treads
The nascent space, within me.
"
Actually that would be a song if I gave it two chords, so maybe the songs I haven't ever developed past words are just poems and I have hundreds. So I'm a poet now. Wasn't expecting to accomplish that today, but I've done that before between being born and graduating college so it's fine.
Bernard Purdie now offers you advise on life.
....As long as you groove.
Every enjoyed anything as much as he enjoyed that?
Me neither. Can't even do that with ice cream. Its a life goal of mine.
"Enjoy something as much as Sir Purdie does the Purdie Shuffle."
GO FORTH ALL YE WITH WILL.
FEEL IT, WHATEVER MAY OCCUPY YOU
FOR YOU AS YOU ARE HERE CAN ONLY HAVE THIS AS IT IS NOW ONCE-
AS CHANGE IS THE FABRIC OF EXPERIENCE.
THOUGH MORE ALWAYS FOLLOWS AND IT ALWAYS HAS,
IT IS NEVER THE TIME TO DISREGARD WHAT IS NOW:
LIFE IN ITS ENTIRETY.
Peace.
Monday, July 7, 2014
GoProted
Smear my mandibles with cream cheese and tell the President, A Video!
This GoPro is sick. Its the size of an egg. I'm going to record so many moving images. The fish lens makes everything I shoot look like its a professional sport. Next video I put up will be the interior of my next apartment, which is my car. I'm about 90% through organizing the materials, finances, backups plans, sustenance, etc for the trip, and about 10% with the actual itinerary. Radical. Its coming together nicely and I'll have the room for the essentials. In particular my body. Tubular.
Depending on the weather i'm going to stroll through Nashville a bit after all. Wichita is not worth driving to immediately when I have all the time in the world. Oh and there's no national parks in this barren parkless belt that goes from all of Kansas, the width of Kansas, north. I wonder why God didn't put any national parks there. Probably because its all corn. Fields and fields of danger corn.
The sort of non-organic corn you mourn for. I'll be moving everything out, getting my body assessed by professionals, and researching the hidden gems of the United States the rest of this week. But FIRST - The Dreamtime.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Precursor
Hello. It’s Brian - I told you I would make a blog, and this is
the first post. Yes, I am actually going to live in my car for the next few
months, travel the United States writing song, living like a bum eating
flies and drinking second-hand water and rattlesnake blood. You may say: "He is foolish." or "He's going to join a pack of wolves and become violent and intelligible." Or. "I am jealous." You're right. I myself am thrilled and
overjoyed because I can actually start towards what I'm looking for from life. They say it ends either way.
I want to experience more and become great to myself. So I left my job and my lease and my
materials except for my car and my guitar+. The Green Machine and Shira, though depending on the adventure I may rename my car. I wanted to spend time getting down with the fundamentals, what actually exists. Doing this means more to me than having a microwave on deck, throwing burritos in a chamber that makes them too hot to eat immediately and then beeps, living better than a king ever did.
I am doing this to help push myself towards the only thing I really care about other than not having tapeworms and generally remaining alive: Music. I am and am not made for performance, I am and am not made for expression, I am and am not as practised as I need to be, I am still in great need of polishing and discipline and focus. I do this because the only way to get what you want is to start now and get it. What I am looking to create for myself is actually scary to me. Yep. Sound like you too? Cool. You probably haven't even heard my music/voice/actual effort and style if you're 99.999% of the people I've ever known, but it exists and this is being undertaken to cultivate and share it. Its worth it.
So such begins the adventure. No matter what you do in life, you will meet resistance, you will be dissuaded, you will be misweighed, and all that you have and all that you desire will flicker and waver as
though to make sure you actually do want it. If you give up, you
never get it. If you take an easier way out, you grow weak in your own way and
to yourself you become a hindrance, you remain unmastered, maybe you regret. So I say: struggle for
what you want, for you will struggle either way. You will get you what you are looking for in time, or you were doing what you loved while you pursued it and you don't. Who knows. There is only one way to find out, and the journey is the heart of it anyways. But there is something to be said about trying.
Or you can be Buddhist and be completely content with what you have. That's always a solid bet, but I’m going
to try that after I'm at least 40 probably, unless I lose my hands in a bearfight sooner. Or maybe I find out this isn't what I want at all.
Who knows. This is why I wander. Otherwise, I am only words. And if all else fails I had a kickass roadtrip when I was ready for it.
Go forth.
Go forth.
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