Here is a song that will be part of the album
I'll post the others soon now
Because love songs are only two of the 9 made so far, the others will be different, livelier, with 24% more parmesean sometimes about politics sometimes about roads sometimes without words
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Maslow's Summit V.2
I updated this to address some additional thoughts I had.
Hello. Still alive. Doing things that fulfill me more deeply than I could have imagined in millennia. I mean that in all seriousness. Details aren't important because you only use those to avoid the reality for a moment and I'm not going to be your fix today.
Here's some of the most incredible music I've ever heard. Listen to what their consciousness created and perfected. It is the collaboration of centuries of rain, sun, loss, birth, war and peace on the cold plains of a different land (Mongolia). It's OK if you don't like it, I just sent it because I thought it was good.
I challenge you to read the rest of my thoughts today with as much patience as you can. Do it if only because I challenged you. You can alternatively stop right now and your brain will not be charged with any meaningful thought in the next few minutes and you won't be forced to spend any energy wondering about tough questions.
'Vicarious' is a positive connotation on 'without any actual life.' You're going to die right. You deserve to actually enjoy what happens before then. 'Life isn't always fair' is for people who don't know how to utilize what they receive. It's an excuse to let bad things be only bad things. Life is fair for the people who work with life and don't give up until it is taken from them. Then you're dead, and you can relax. You weren't promised anything.
Living vicariously. While you look at people doing things that inspire you and go "Wow I wish I was doing that," you're dying and dancing through the illusion of living. "Well at least they are happy so I can be happy for them," Bullshit. Lead yourself. Try it. Use that part of your mind that executes action and tell it: "I'm going to do this so I can become more useful to myself even though it isn't entirely comfortable and I can't be 100% certain its going to work or be appreciated." And do it. And learn from it. And put it towards the rest of your life. (Like me posting this on my blog. I'm fully aware you don't really like reading this sort of thing but I no longer care for what you want because you clearly don't know what you want. If you had an idea, you would understand what I'm saying and you wouldn't be personally offended that I've told you you don't know what you're doing. Maybe I'm wrong. Keep reading.)
Maybe you think nothing calls you. Or you say you just don't have that passion.
RING RING YA HEAR ME???
You're going to die either way. We. All. Die. Its horrible unless you have lived prior to it. Think that over.
We are not meant to stay fragile and safe and scared and everyone else would love you to realize yourself so we can all thrive from the life it breeds. But life isn't fair and you just aren't made for it? You have too many obligations? It is NOT supposed to be easy. Passion and strength is created along the way, by request and effort and persistence. It's not something you have or don't have. Do you have any idea how weak and weightless I was even two years ago? I am recent in substantial ways. Now I live in my CAR. I brush my teeth with old shoelaces. Not true. But I had the conscious realization that if I were to die tonight, I would be at peace. Because I am alive and useful to myself and my purpose, for the first time in my life. In my CAR.
Life is what you make it. You are not helpless..If you were to open yourself to the possibilities, you would be much more likely to figure out what you are looking for if you do not yet know. Have you tried doing thing you've never done before? Maybe its not traditional for your culture so you hesitate. Or your friends would laugh, they who haven't the slightest idea how to be happy either.
They who help themselves are helped...........
They who stop themselves are stopped.
Listen: If you want a good life you must make it happen for yourself starting now. This isn't something a paycheck can do for you even eventually. Paychecks should not be what you spend your life on. They only make beating around your bush easier. And obligations deeper. If you really, REALLY want something, you would be surprised how far you can simplify your life to be able to focus on it... even if you have children, that which seems to be the permanent death of everyone's dreams. I think that you have a responsibility to them absolutely, but I must ask: Are they the end of you? You answer that question every day when you wake up and decide: I'm going to only maintain our state OR I'm going to make today better for every one of us.
It is INCREDIBLE what you can do if you REALLY want something. The sacrifices you make, the willpower you build, the person you become is all worth standing up and trying to be incredible for yourself and those you love, rather than on-par with all the people around you. Stop looking around. You are only limiting yourself.
You know why I write this? Not because I expect that in doing so everyone who reads this is going to go "Ah! He's Right!" and change their lives overnight. I write because literally: Everyone that hears my story goes "You are doing the right thing." Or "I wish I'd done that." or "My dream was to XYZ but we just never got around to it..."
I write because I may be the only source of uncomfortable thoughts that you expose yourself to and maybe, just maybe, I can plant a seed to grow slowly into something you can use to produce your own genuine happiness someday. Not default happiness, like 'Well I've got everything everybody else does now' - but actual fulfillment in your own mind and soul in your own way. I want you to experience a deep life no matter where you are in it. You are never too late, you just don't know the feeling of personal triumph over your fears that tell you: "I'm too late" yet.
You don't have to become a musician or an interplanetary justice superhero. Just do what moves you and intrigues you and keep moving towards that happiness with an open mind (You don't know what you need to get there, otherwise, you would have it already... hmm?) and keep challenging yourself in your own way. Hell I don't know what you need. But you aren't getting it sitting on your ass avoiding each passing day waiting for .... what? Seriously, what are you waiting on? What are your days passing for? Were you successful yesterday, was it useful to you? I hope so.
You only have so many.
I'm not saying that what you have done up until this point is useless or that you aren't making good decisions, or that you aren't on the right track. But maybe its time you started to put your preparation to use. There is no perfect time. You, by doing it, make it the perfect time. Don't wait until you die to start honoring yourself. You are alive today. That's actually plenty to begin.
Maybe you truly don't care. That's fine too. Your life. I just love you and believe this deeply enough so as to address it. Yes, even you who is reading this that somehow I've never met.
Congratulations. That really weird feeling you hopefully have now, halfway between excited and scared?
That's growth...
It is not always glorious.
- Love,
Fellow Mortal
P.S. NO PICTURES FOR YOU today.
Hello. Still alive. Doing things that fulfill me more deeply than I could have imagined in millennia. I mean that in all seriousness. Details aren't important because you only use those to avoid the reality for a moment and I'm not going to be your fix today.
Here's some of the most incredible music I've ever heard. Listen to what their consciousness created and perfected. It is the collaboration of centuries of rain, sun, loss, birth, war and peace on the cold plains of a different land (Mongolia). It's OK if you don't like it, I just sent it because I thought it was good.
I challenge you to read the rest of my thoughts today with as much patience as you can. Do it if only because I challenged you. You can alternatively stop right now and your brain will not be charged with any meaningful thought in the next few minutes and you won't be forced to spend any energy wondering about tough questions.
'Vicarious' is a positive connotation on 'without any actual life.' You're going to die right. You deserve to actually enjoy what happens before then. 'Life isn't always fair' is for people who don't know how to utilize what they receive. It's an excuse to let bad things be only bad things. Life is fair for the people who work with life and don't give up until it is taken from them. Then you're dead, and you can relax. You weren't promised anything.
Living vicariously. While you look at people doing things that inspire you and go "Wow I wish I was doing that," you're dying and dancing through the illusion of living. "Well at least they are happy so I can be happy for them," Bullshit. Lead yourself. Try it. Use that part of your mind that executes action and tell it: "I'm going to do this so I can become more useful to myself even though it isn't entirely comfortable and I can't be 100% certain its going to work or be appreciated." And do it. And learn from it. And put it towards the rest of your life. (Like me posting this on my blog. I'm fully aware you don't really like reading this sort of thing but I no longer care for what you want because you clearly don't know what you want. If you had an idea, you would understand what I'm saying and you wouldn't be personally offended that I've told you you don't know what you're doing. Maybe I'm wrong. Keep reading.)
Maybe you think nothing calls you. Or you say you just don't have that passion.
RING RING YA HEAR ME???
You're going to die either way. We. All. Die. Its horrible unless you have lived prior to it. Think that over.
We are not meant to stay fragile and safe and scared and everyone else would love you to realize yourself so we can all thrive from the life it breeds. But life isn't fair and you just aren't made for it? You have too many obligations? It is NOT supposed to be easy. Passion and strength is created along the way, by request and effort and persistence. It's not something you have or don't have. Do you have any idea how weak and weightless I was even two years ago? I am recent in substantial ways. Now I live in my CAR. I brush my teeth with old shoelaces. Not true. But I had the conscious realization that if I were to die tonight, I would be at peace. Because I am alive and useful to myself and my purpose, for the first time in my life. In my CAR.
Life is what you make it. You are not helpless..If you were to open yourself to the possibilities, you would be much more likely to figure out what you are looking for if you do not yet know. Have you tried doing thing you've never done before? Maybe its not traditional for your culture so you hesitate. Or your friends would laugh, they who haven't the slightest idea how to be happy either.
They who help themselves are helped...........
They who stop themselves are stopped.
Listen: If you want a good life you must make it happen for yourself starting now. This isn't something a paycheck can do for you even eventually. Paychecks should not be what you spend your life on. They only make beating around your bush easier. And obligations deeper. If you really, REALLY want something, you would be surprised how far you can simplify your life to be able to focus on it... even if you have children, that which seems to be the permanent death of everyone's dreams. I think that you have a responsibility to them absolutely, but I must ask: Are they the end of you? You answer that question every day when you wake up and decide: I'm going to only maintain our state OR I'm going to make today better for every one of us.
It is INCREDIBLE what you can do if you REALLY want something. The sacrifices you make, the willpower you build, the person you become is all worth standing up and trying to be incredible for yourself and those you love, rather than on-par with all the people around you. Stop looking around. You are only limiting yourself.
You know why I write this? Not because I expect that in doing so everyone who reads this is going to go "Ah! He's Right!" and change their lives overnight. I write because literally: Everyone that hears my story goes "You are doing the right thing." Or "I wish I'd done that." or "My dream was to XYZ but we just never got around to it..."
I write because I may be the only source of uncomfortable thoughts that you expose yourself to and maybe, just maybe, I can plant a seed to grow slowly into something you can use to produce your own genuine happiness someday. Not default happiness, like 'Well I've got everything everybody else does now' - but actual fulfillment in your own mind and soul in your own way. I want you to experience a deep life no matter where you are in it. You are never too late, you just don't know the feeling of personal triumph over your fears that tell you: "I'm too late" yet.
You don't have to become a musician or an interplanetary justice superhero. Just do what moves you and intrigues you and keep moving towards that happiness with an open mind (You don't know what you need to get there, otherwise, you would have it already... hmm?) and keep challenging yourself in your own way. Hell I don't know what you need. But you aren't getting it sitting on your ass avoiding each passing day waiting for .... what? Seriously, what are you waiting on? What are your days passing for? Were you successful yesterday, was it useful to you? I hope so.
You only have so many.
I'm not saying that what you have done up until this point is useless or that you aren't making good decisions, or that you aren't on the right track. But maybe its time you started to put your preparation to use. There is no perfect time. You, by doing it, make it the perfect time. Don't wait until you die to start honoring yourself. You are alive today. That's actually plenty to begin.
Maybe you truly don't care. That's fine too. Your life. I just love you and believe this deeply enough so as to address it. Yes, even you who is reading this that somehow I've never met.
Congratulations. That really weird feeling you hopefully have now, halfway between excited and scared?
That's growth...
It is not always glorious.
- Love,
Fellow Mortal
P.S. NO PICTURES FOR YOU today.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Lincoln City Oregon
There's beautiful weather here so I have to make this quick.
I'm in Lincoln City Oregon. Everything I could need is here so I'm making myself at home in rotation through the hotels parking lots here - there's so many I can cycle through them without raising any eyes. Plus there's a Casino here that allows overnighting so actually I'm just staying there. I wasn't telling the truth a moment ago. But its a good idea.
I took a shower and shaved today so I look good once again. I've been walking on beaches and thinking and doing things with my guitar. I play for a lot of seagulls now. They actually stick around and the other day two that had been watching me started squawking at the exact same time, for the exact same length, with the exact same note when I finished one of the songs - it was NUTS. It's been better than quite nice. Still don't have my voice back. Got a membership at Safeway because I can buy breakfast sandwiches for $2 there which is a steal for how much food you get.
Zach I'm compiling data on your revamped hygeine standards inquiry. I've got some good ones now. Stand by for response.
Another nice thing about the coast is the seafood. I'm eating it.
Here's the most recent video and a new album.
I have to run before the sun leaves plus I'm done writing for the day. The brain needs something new.
I hope all of you are doing well. I'm still as happy as a dog with a steak in my car in this manner of living. You grow up a lot and so I'm getting what I wanted and then some.
Go now and make your lives better than they were yesterday because we're all hoping you do.
Watching flies rub their conniving hands together on a window drinking good coffee for a moment,
Brian
I'm in Lincoln City Oregon. Everything I could need is here so I'm making myself at home in rotation through the hotels parking lots here - there's so many I can cycle through them without raising any eyes. Plus there's a Casino here that allows overnighting so actually I'm just staying there. I wasn't telling the truth a moment ago. But its a good idea.
I took a shower and shaved today so I look good once again. I've been walking on beaches and thinking and doing things with my guitar. I play for a lot of seagulls now. They actually stick around and the other day two that had been watching me started squawking at the exact same time, for the exact same length, with the exact same note when I finished one of the songs - it was NUTS. It's been better than quite nice. Still don't have my voice back. Got a membership at Safeway because I can buy breakfast sandwiches for $2 there which is a steal for how much food you get.
Zach I'm compiling data on your revamped hygeine standards inquiry. I've got some good ones now. Stand by for response.
Another nice thing about the coast is the seafood. I'm eating it.
Here's the most recent video and a new album.
I have to run before the sun leaves plus I'm done writing for the day. The brain needs something new.
I hope all of you are doing well. I'm still as happy as a dog with a steak in my car in this manner of living. You grow up a lot and so I'm getting what I wanted and then some.
Go now and make your lives better than they were yesterday because we're all hoping you do.
Watching flies rub their conniving hands together on a window drinking good coffee for a moment,
Brian
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